English Lesson

How stress impacts you is definitely different from how stress impacts me. What makes impacts of stress differ across individuals? How stress affects someone depends on which events that person notices and how that person interprets the events. As a result, one stress-related event for me may/may not be a stress-related event for another person. For example, consider the following scenario: Bob and Frank get laid off from work. Now, consider each of their reactions: Bob: “What am I going to do? I can’t believe this happened to me! All my goals have gone down the drain, I am a nobody anymore, I will never find another job” Frank: “Ah well, it is what it is. Until I find a new job, I will dedicate my time to my family; I can even help little Suzy with her projects at school! It will be a great opportunity to bond!” You get my point, right? Of course getting laid off is no pleasant experience, but the reaction of each experience that someone undergoes depends on the person. In this way, Stress is in the Eye of the Beholder.

Where Does Your Stress Come From? Conflict: “To Do or Not To Do…That is the Question!” I will start off by saying that conflict is unavoidable and we are faced with it in our every day lives. Why does conflict happen? Well because two or more incompatible motivations or behavioral impulses are competing to be expressed. What exactly does this mean? Think back to when you were a child and you used to play “Tug-O-War”…conflict works the same way; one motivation is fighting to be expressed on one side whereas another motivation is fighting to be expressed on the other side. Now fast forward your childhood days and think back to when you were in school and you learned about Sigmund Freud, the famous psychologist. Well Sigmund Freud suggested that internal conflicts generate stress and psychological distress. In addition, another psychologist, Laura King, performed a multitude of studies and found that the more a person feels conflicted, the more likely it is that they will experience anxiety, depression and psychological distress. Now that, hopefully, I have made it clear what conflict is defined as…it’s important to distinguish between the 3 different types of conflict. The three types of conflict include: “Approach-Approach.” “Avoidance-Avoidance” & “Approach-Avoidance”. Can you relate to any category?

Approach-Approach conflicts are when you have to make a choice between two attractive goals. For example when you go to a restaurant and you have to choose which delicious food item you will eat. This type of conflict is the least stressful of conflicts, UNLESS choosing either of the attractive choices produces a sort of loss. For example, you want both types of food on the menu, if you pick one it raises your cholesterol, but if you pick the other you will be left feeling hungry.

Avoidance-Avoidance conflicts are when you have to make a choice between two unattractive goals. An example of this is “Do I work a degrading job? Or do I settle with living off well-fare?” This type of conflict is the most unpleasant and brings about the most stress.

Approach-Avoidance conflicts is when you have to make a choice to pursue a goal with both attractive and unattractive aspects. For example, do you remember that one person you were in love with as a child and you wanted to ask them out so badly, but were so afraid of rejection? Well the same types of conflicts you were faced back then, fall into the same category of conflicts that you are faced with now. Do you purchase investment returns and risk the loss of capital? This type of conflict is the most common and it is very stressful. You often go back and forth in this case, much like the “Tug-O-War” scenario, where you have to risk some to pursue a desirable outcome.

Change: Starting Over?…Stress Inducing When was the last time you did anything that was out of your norm? A long time right? Well that’s because anytime we change anything, whether it is for the good or for the bad, we are overwhelmed with stress. Change is identified as a noticeable alteration in one’s living circumstances which require re-adjustment. The thought of re-adjustment is stress-inducing enough for many individuals, the act of re-adjustment is quite anxiety driven. I have mentioned previously that even good changes induce stress…why? Because it involved a change. On the “Social Readjustment Rating Scale” {message me and I can provide you with further detail}, the top 5 Life Events which had the slowest readjustment rates include: [in order] Death of Spouse, Divorce, Marital Separation, Death of a close family member, and Personal injury or illness. I want to note that marriage is 6th, meaning that although it is a positive change it undergoes a very long adjustment period.

Pressure: To Perform/Conform? When you are facing pressure you are facing expectations and demands to behave in certain ways. Pressure can be broken down into “pressure to perform” and “pressure to conform”. Pressure to perform is when you have to execute tasks fast, efficiently, and successfully. Enough to make a person go crazy right? This is often seen in professions such as salespeople, professors, and comedians. Pressure to conform is when you conform to other people’s expectations. This is often seen in the business world and in teenagers. What’s the significant of pressure? It produces even more stress than life changes…specifically double the stress, which in turns causes psychological symptoms.

Frustration: “SH!+!!” Frustration happens when your pursuit of a goal is inhibited. Most frustrations are the sources of stress, including frustrations of failures and losses. Losses, especially, bring about the most stress because people are deprived of what they are accustomed to have. To speak honestly, a major problem is that people set goals that are too high for them to achieve, which in turn results in continuous frustration. Everyone goes through frustrations and it is a normal part of life, but it is important to note that the more frustrations you face, the more likely it is that you will hit severe stress symptoms. My suggestions? Set realistic goals for yourself, don’t be too hard on your self, and always look at the glass as half full! Life goes on… it is already another day on the other side of the world! Life doesn’t stop for you, so you definitely shouldn’t stop for it. Keep going & keep your head high.

on How To Recognize the Source of Stress

Understanding What Is Stress And Applying Some Tips To Reduce Its Harmful Effects

For many girls nowadays, the statement, “You look stressed”, is just not good to the ears. However, with many activities and events happening on a daily basis, we can’t blame anyone affected by what stress do to their bodies. We can’t deny the fact that modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. It is safe to admit that stress is part of life-the important thing to think about now is to know what is stress and how to handle it. Mind you, stress is not always bad because it can help a person perform efficiently under pressure and even motivate him/her to do the best. Although, in some instance, stress is helpful, in most occasions-when you are constantly living life in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price. Remember that signs and symptoms can also be caused by other psychological and medical problems.

When you start feeling frequently frazzled and overwhelmed, maybe it is high time for you to pause and listen to your body’s complaining signs. Stress can be harmful. In fact, stress can even result to serious ailments or complications because it lowers down the body’s immune system.That is why you have to constantly pay attention to your body; bring your nervous system into balance. Start protecting yourself from harmful stress by recognizing the signs and symptoms of stress and start doing the necessary tips to reducing its harmful effects. As we go along with our discussion, it is important to be aware of the causes of stress. A self-evaluation could be helpful, try to ask yourself: “What specific things or activities do usually stress me out?”

What is stress? Basically, stress is defined as a normal physical response to events that make a person feel threatened or upset the body’s sense of balance in some way. During times when your body sense danger,either real or just imagined, the body’s defenses automatically kick into high gear in a rapid process, which is also known as the “flight-or-fight” reaction or also referred as the ‘stress response’. This stress response is the body’s way of protecting a person. In appropriate cases, stress response helps a person stay focused, energetic, and alert. On the other hand, in emergency cases, stress can save your life, wherein it gives the body the extra strength to defend itself.

What is stress and until what point does it become harmful? So far you have been informed about the positive side of stress but beyond a certain point, stress may start causing a major damage to health, your productivity, your relationships and your quality of life as well. Thus, it is important to be always on guard on how you respond to stress. Our tips for you on how to reduce the harmful effects of stress are the following: (1) Recognize when your stress levels are out of control; (2) Be aware of your body’s response when under stress; (3) When you start experiencing any warning signs of stress-you should see a doctor for an evaluation.

on Understanding What Is Stress And Applying Some Tips To Reduce Its Harmful EffectsUnderstanding What Is Stress And Applying Some Tips To Reduce Its Harmful Effects

For many girls nowadays, the statement, “You look stressed”, is just not good to the ears. However, with many activities and events happening on a daily basis, we can’t blame anyone affected by what stress do to their bodies. We can’t deny the fact that modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. It is safe to admit that stress is part of life-the important thing to think about now is to know what is stress and how to handle it. Mind you, stress is not always bad because it can help a person perform efficiently under pressure and even motivate him/her to do the best. Although, in some instance, stress is helpful, in most occasions-when you are constantly living life in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price. Remember that signs and symptoms can also be caused by other psychological and medical problems.

When you start feeling frequently frazzled and overwhelmed, maybe it is high time for you to pause and listen to your body’s complaining signs. Stress can be harmful. In fact, stress can even result to serious ailments or complications because it lowers down the body’s immune system.That is why you have to constantly pay attention to your body; bring your nervous system into balance. Start protecting yourself from harmful stress by recognizing the signs and symptoms of stress and start doing the necessary tips to reducing its harmful effects. As we go along with our discussion, it is important to be aware of the causes of stress. A self-evaluation could be helpful, try to ask yourself: “What specific things or activities do usually stress me out?”

What is stress? Basically, stress is defined as a normal physical response to events that make a person feel threatened or upset the body’s sense of balance in some way. During times when your body sense danger,either real or just imagined, the body’s defenses automatically kick into high gear in a rapid process, which is also known as the “flight-or-fight” reaction or also referred as the ‘stress response’. This stress response is the body’s way of protecting a person. In appropriate cases, stress response helps a person stay focused, energetic, and alert. On the other hand, in emergency cases, stress can save your life, wherein it gives the body the extra strength to defend itself.

What is stress and until what point does it become harmful? So far you have been informed about the positive side of stress but beyond a certain point, stress may start causing a major damage to health, your productivity, your relationships and your quality of life as well. Thus, it is important to be always on guard on how you respond to stress. Our tips for you on how to reduce the harmful effects of stress are the following: (1) Recognize when your stress levels are out of control; (2) Be aware of your body’s response when under stress; (3) When you start experiencing any warning signs of stress-you should see a doctor for an evaluation.

on Understanding What Is Stress And Applying Some Tips To Reduce Its Harmful Effects

How to Program Dreams – Make Nightly Requests To Dream Your Stress Away

What is Dream Programming?

Programming means to ask for a particular type of dream, just before you fall asleep.This is also called dream-incubation, or making specific requests of the dream-state.

You may have programmed dreams without even realizing it. If you have ever said, “I need to sleep on this,” you were actually programming that night’s dream-state for guidance. Whether you remembered one or not–when you awakened, the previous night’s program to sleep on it’ enabled you to intuitively make the right decision.

Dreams definitely respond to the thoughts and concerns that have filled one’s mind during that day. The dream-state consistently provides answers to our questions and fulfills our requests. This is usually done at an other-than-conscious level. That is–we are getting benefits from our nightly dreaming, even though we do not consciously realize it.

Why is it important to program my dreams?

It is important to understand that you are programming them when you go to bed with things on your mind. You will dream about your issues, problems, ideas, desires, questions, and worries because it is the nature of the dream-state to address your needs and provide guidance. Because the average person goes to sleep with so much on his or her mind, the dream-self may attempt to answer all your wants and needs within one night of dreaming. The resulting dreams can be chaotic, and seem very weird or strange indeed.

An advantage of purposeful programming is that the conscious mind can get specific assistance from the dream-state for one particular need at a time. A dream given in response to a requested program is focused – therefore is so much easier to interpret and understand.

Basic Dream Programming Guidelines:

1. Decide what one thing you want to ask for.

2. Create a well-formed question, or specifically stated request

3. Set the intention — write the request down

4. Mentally repeat the request several times before falling asleep

5. Make the exact-same request at least 3 to 5 nights in a row.

Examples of well-stated requests

• I ask for a healing dream for my cold.

• I choose to safely release all stress in my dreams tonight.

• What is everything I need to know about — my problems with my boss? — my daughter’s attitude towards me? — the pain in my back?

The benefits of programming

When you program a dream in this deliberate way, you are making a specific request for guidance, information, or a healing of some kind–and you are expecting results. Programming informs all parts of the self that you desire to focus in on an explicit concern, and are seeking direct help from Spirit.

Ask and you shall receive

You may not always get exactly what you think you want, yet you will receive what you most need. For example, a dream may insist on giving you the cause of the problem before offering solutions. Discovering cause is a blessing, because like digging out a dandelion root, dream information gives you a way to get at the root cause of your problem so that it doesn’t return.

I ask my clients to program their dreams for guidance between sessions. The ones they bring in to sessions will suggest the next step in the transformational process. They also aid in the client’s healing. The book: Decipher Your Dreams, Decipher Your Life is full of such success stories.

How to know which dreams answer your request

In the experience of members of my dream groups, the one that answers your request is usually the one you have just before you awaken. Rarely is a specific program request ignored by the subconscious. It is designed to allow the dreams you seek.

If the remembered dream does not answer the request you made, then this is called a dream program override. There can be different reasons for an override. Spirit may have something more significant to convey. Or, an internal part in the subconscious may have interfered with your program to alert you to a more imperative inner need. Do not be frustrated if this happens. All information is useful. You can always do your quested program again the next night.

If you are concerned that deliberate programming would interfere with a dream’s prior intention, remember that you have four to six per night. When you quest a certain dream program, you are asking to interact with just one of them. This allows free-rein for all other dreams of that night to address entirely different matters. Deciphering all the dreams you remember that next morning will show exactly which one(s) addressed your quested program.

You could have more than one dream that answers your request, Spirit and/or parts may decide to provide two or more that night, if needed, to be able to provide what you need. There have been occasions when I have remembered as many as four dreams that provided entirely different approaches to my one request.

What if you don’t remember programmed dreams?

A beginner at programming may not remember any dreams the next morning. This does not mean the program did not work. Trust that dreams were given and that the unconscious mind now holds the requested information. Be open to intuitively receiving this guidance in some other way during your waking day. This could come through another person giving advice, or something in the paper that sparks your intuition about how it relates to your request, and so on.

Trust this: Even if you do not remember your programmed dreams, the subconscious and/or Spirit will always find other ways to give you the quested guidance.

I do, however, want to encourage you to ask to remember dreams, record them, and do take them through the Dream Decipher Interpretation process. A Deciphered dream will give the information you seek in a direct, instantaneous way.

Suggestion: When you go through a period of not remembering, add this statement at the end of your dream program request: – “and I will remember my dream.”

on How to Program Dreams – Make Nightly Requests To Dream Your Stress Away

Stress is a subject which many people really are wanting to know more about nowadays. But how many of us come close to understanding stress and know precisely what it is? We hear a great deal about it and know our day-to-day lives are getting to be ever more stress filled, plus we’re regularly reading about those unfortunates who are suffering or perhaps unable to function well because of the results associated with stress. And how does it apparently contribute to so many more issues these days than previously?

One of many explanations for why we’re seeing considerably more on the subject of stress nowadays, is that it is a modern day expression. The usage of the term ‘stress’ in psychological terms only goes back to the 1930s. Previously, it had been applied solely to physics and engineering. So that is the reason why we tend not to see the term showing up in books or documents before that time.

Stress is characterized by an hostile reaction in the body to any sort of demand. Hence theoretically, stress is not really the problem, but our reaction to it. The situation or demand creating the stress is termed the stressor.

The initial results of stress in the body resemble some of those experienced in moments of danger. The heart is going to race, adrenalin will begin to surge through our bodies and this prepares the body for the ‘fight or flight’ reaction to the danger.

But in our present day life, in most cases it isn’t practical to behave in such a way. When your employer deposits another 100 page file on your desk, and demands an overview before your lunchbreak, you might be tempted either to slug him (or her) or simply escape from your workplace (“fight or flight”) but the truth is you will most likely never carry out either.

The effect will be that the adrenalin in your body isn’t being utilized for its intended function, so it continues to flow throughout the entire system for a lot longer than should naturally happen. This is the reason stress is termed an “inappropriate” response – that is, we don’t require so much adrenalin to deal with our boss.

There is more than meets the eye to understanding stress, because along with the more obvious stressful occasions, there are many other stressors in our lives that we aren’t actually aware of. Noise can be one example; disagreements might be yet another. Most are things that we might be used to or maybe even like, however in primitive terminology they were things commonly associated with danger and for that reason our body gets itself ready for the classic ‘fight or flight’ behavior.

The actual physical result of this is that we can have excessive amounts of adrenalin constantly circulating in the system. This will likely bring about a lot of the physical effects of stress, from mild to severe headaches, chest pains and digestive issues through to severe health conditions such as anxiety disorders and panic attacks.

So what is stress on a subconscious level? It suggests that people are living most of their lives feeling a little apprehensive but have instances of extreme anxiety. It’s quite common to experience sleep problems, despair, being easily annoyed and mood shifts, to list just a few things.

We might distance themself from family and friends, disregard our commitments, delay doing things, and grow far more reliant on things such as liquor, smoking cigarettes or maybe even turning to drugs (prescribed or recreational). Eating styles can also alter: some eat more, some eat a lot less, but nearly everybody is going to either reduce or gain weight if under stress.

Undoubtedly, a number of these problems just by themselves can result in stress.

• Withdrawing from mates will make people feel a lot more cut off and miserable
• Negligence in our work can cause worry about job security
• Dependence on drugs obviously leads to far greater problems
• Weight problems, either way, can lead to loss of self esteem

So we could very easily find ourself within a vicious circle.

So just understanding stress isn’t good enough, we need to be aware of exactly what it is: And for us to escape from that circle we need to find out how to overcome it.

on Understanding Stress and How It Affects UsUnderstanding Stress and How It Affects Us

Stress is a subject which many people really are wanting to know more about nowadays. But how many of us come close to understanding stress and know precisely what it is? We hear a great deal about it and know our day-to-day lives are getting to be ever more stress filled, plus we’re regularly reading about those unfortunates who are suffering or perhaps unable to function well because of the results associated with stress. And how does it apparently contribute to so many more issues these days than previously?

One of many explanations for why we’re seeing considerably more on the subject of stress nowadays, is that it is a modern day expression. The usage of the term ‘stress’ in psychological terms only goes back to the 1930s. Previously, it had been applied solely to physics and engineering. So that is the reason why we tend not to see the term showing up in books or documents before that time.

Stress is characterized by an hostile reaction in the body to any sort of demand. Hence theoretically, stress is not really the problem, but our reaction to it. The situation or demand creating the stress is termed the stressor.

The initial results of stress in the body resemble some of those experienced in moments of danger. The heart is going to race, adrenalin will begin to surge through our bodies and this prepares the body for the ‘fight or flight’ reaction to the danger.

But in our present day life, in most cases it isn’t practical to behave in such a way. When your employer deposits another 100 page file on your desk, and demands an overview before your lunchbreak, you might be tempted either to slug him (or her) or simply escape from your workplace (“fight or flight”) but the truth is you will most likely never carry out either.

The effect will be that the adrenalin in your body isn’t being utilized for its intended function, so it continues to flow throughout the entire system for a lot longer than should naturally happen. This is the reason stress is termed an “inappropriate” response – that is, we don’t require so much adrenalin to deal with our boss.

There is more than meets the eye to understanding stress, because along with the more obvious stressful occasions, there are many other stressors in our lives that we aren’t actually aware of. Noise can be one example; disagreements might be yet another. Most are things that we might be used to or maybe even like, however in primitive terminology they were things commonly associated with danger and for that reason our body gets itself ready for the classic ‘fight or flight’ behavior.

The actual physical result of this is that we can have excessive amounts of adrenalin constantly circulating in the system. This will likely bring about a lot of the physical effects of stress, from mild to severe headaches, chest pains and digestive issues through to severe health conditions such as anxiety disorders and panic attacks.

So what is stress on a subconscious level? It suggests that people are living most of their lives feeling a little apprehensive but have instances of extreme anxiety. It’s quite common to experience sleep problems, despair, being easily annoyed and mood shifts, to list just a few things.

We might distance themself from family and friends, disregard our commitments, delay doing things, and grow far more reliant on things such as liquor, smoking cigarettes or maybe even turning to drugs (prescribed or recreational). Eating styles can also alter: some eat more, some eat a lot less, but nearly everybody is going to either reduce or gain weight if under stress.

Undoubtedly, a number of these problems just by themselves can result in stress.

• Withdrawing from mates will make people feel a lot more cut off and miserable
• Negligence in our work can cause worry about job security
• Dependence on drugs obviously leads to far greater problems
• Weight problems, either way, can lead to loss of self esteem

So we could very easily find ourself within a vicious circle.

So just understanding stress isn’t good enough, we need to be aware of exactly what it is: And for us to escape from that circle we need to find out how to overcome it.

on Understanding Stress and How It Affects Us

I am going to outline some ideas and methods that you can use to live the laid back life. By that I don’t mean 8 ways to live a lazier life. I mean more ways to profit from your own passions. Ways for you to make money for who you are. To me being laid back is having the freedom to do what I want when I want to. To do that I actually have to work harder for a bit. I can’t expect my day job to pay for the laid back lifestyle I want to live. Two months ago I began the process of trying to figure out what skills I had that I could use to generate wealth for myself, and generate the opportunities I want. I want to be able to go south for vacation, I want to be able to buy things without worrying about the price.

Since work won’t help, and sleep won’t help, that leaves me with the other 8 hours a day. I used to use them for entertainment. I’d sit and watch TV. I need to find a way to work during those other 8 hours. Now my other 8 hours (when I’m not getting the kids ready for the day or ready for bed) is spent in 2 ways:
1. Improving myself. I try to spend time every day exercising (see the losing Willow page for info on that)
2. Trying to make extra money. Which is where a lot of content for this blog will be. I know that there is money to be made online, I want to find a way to get my piece of it.

1. When did you meet the love of your life?
2. When did you have your first child (please note, office stairwell fans, the question is when did you have, not conceive, your first child)?
3. When was your most emotionally painful experience?
4. When was the most spectacular sunset you ever saw?
5. When do you feel the most intellectually alive and excited about your future?
6. When do you participate in your favorite hobby?
7. When was the first time you saw your child walk?
8. Think about your favorite movie of all time. When was the first time you watched it?
9. When did you meet your best friend?
10. When was the last time you could hardly catch your breath because of your excitement?
11. When was your most profound spiritual moment?
12. When was the most rewarding physical thing you’ve ever done?
13. If you could re-live one event from your past, when would it occur?
14. When do you find you feel the most sure and confident?
15. If you had one year left to live, what would you spend the majority of your time doing?

Total of W_____ S_____ O______ After you add up the letters what do you notice? Sleeping: Necessary and feels great, but doesn’t provide much “life” to life. Most likely, you don’t have a single check mark in this column. Working: Also necessary and can feel rewarding, but it is typically something you must do and not something you love to do. Most people have between one and three check marks in this column. Other 8: Surprise! The majority of the most important events in your life don’t occur while you sleep or work… they occur during the other 8 hours. What do you do during the other 8 hours? Other guys are watching Survivor and eating chips. If you want to find a way to live the life you want you are going to do it during those 8 hours. Make a plan to use that time to your advantage.

on How to Profit From Your Passions